The Anxiety of Coincidence

 I took dictation only from you, 
for whom verbs were nothing and tense 
everything.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

This year, to save me from years,
I'll give it to someone special.

Never.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”

This Will All Make Perfect Sense Someday

To all the hearts I've broken
and the ones that once broke mine--
I've got suspicions all will be forgiven in time.

here it goes

I guess there's got to be a break in the monotony, but Jesus, when it rains how it pours.

Coda

She said " i think i'm going to Boston,
                i think i'll start a new life
                i think i'll start it over where no one knows my name---

                i'll get out of California; i'm tired of the weather
                i think i'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.

i think i'm going to Boston

i think that I'm just tired--

I think I need a new town to leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise;

I'm tired of the sunset

I hear it's nice in the summer...

some snow would be nice. "

Devil

She sits alone again
& tries her best not to pretend that all she used to live for was the love that wasn't there
& every time she needs to do things that she believes will fill the void inside of her (causehewasneverthere)

she says, "I swear I'm not the devil, though you think I am.
I swear I'm not the devil--"

He tries to sleep again 

He wonders when the pain will end the cuts (theymayrundeeperthanhiscrackingoutershell)

He looks with tired eyes

at all the people hypnotized

& wonders what can save him from his self-created hell

And he says, "I swear I'm not the devil.

Though you think I am, I swear I'm not the devil--"

I always fail to see the little things in front of me 
The things that mean so much to you; a way to let you know that I appreciate the way you always tolerate 
(but sometimes when I medicate frustration in you showsmehowyoufeel)

But I swear I'm not the devil,
though you think I am.


I swear I'm not the devil.

Torn

(nothing's right i'm--)

i'm all out of faith;
this is how i feel

(cold&iAMshamed)

lying naked in the floor