In the depths

Um, and it's tough because all you want--I think all I ever wanted was for somebody to put their arms around me and say it's okay in spite of the fact that I was screaming and telling them "fuck you, it's not okay," I wanted them to keep their arms around me and just keep saying it's okay, but it's like, why would I want somebody to just let this shit be piled on them? It's like the weirdest feeling. And of course, after--like, you're gonna break anybody's back as long as you're doing that. And so of course I think with all of my previous relationships that obviously became a huge sticking point.