Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Anxiety of Coincidence

 I took dictation only from you, 
for whom verbs were nothing and tense 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

This year, to save me from years,
I'll give it to someone special.

Saturday, December 11, 2010


“To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

This Will All Make Perfect Sense Someday

To all the hearts I've broken
and the ones that once broke mine--
I've got suspicions all will be forgiven in time.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

here it goes

I guess there's got to be a break in the monotony, but Jesus, when it rains how it pours.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


She said " i think i'm going to Boston,
                i think i'll start a new life
                i think i'll start it over where no one knows my name---

                i'll get out of California; i'm tired of the weather
                i think i'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.

i think i'm going to Boston
i think that I'm just tired--
I think I need a new town to leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise;
I'm tired of the sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer...
some snow would be nice. "

Monday, September 27, 2010


She sits alone again
& tries her best not to pretend that all she used to live for was the love that wasn't there
& every time she needs to do things that she believes will fill the void inside of her (causehewasneverthere)

she says, "I swear I'm not the devil, though you think I am.
I swear I'm not the devil--"
He tries to sleep again 
He wonders when the pain will end the cuts (theymayrundeeperthanhiscrackingoutershell)

He looks with tired eyes
at all the people hypnotized
wonders what can save him from his self-created hell

And he says, "I swear I'm not the devil.
Though you think I am, I swear I'm not the devil--"
I always fail to see the little things in front of me 
The things that mean so much to you; a way to let you know that I appreciate the way you always tolerate 
(but sometimes when I medicate frustration in you showsmehowyoufeel)

But I swear I'm not the devil,
though you think I am.

I swear I'm not the devil.

Sunday, September 26, 2010


(nothing's right i'm--)

i'm all out of faith;
this is how i feel


lying naked in the floor

and still

i can't seem to find
the q u i e t
my mind

Sunday, August 08, 2010

I Am Not Yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love—put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

if I say

"my heart is sore,"
it sounds like a cheap metaphor
(so I won't repeat it—)

Friday, July 09, 2010

Trade Yourself In

I don't think they know
that's my heart exposed. . .

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

the shallows

"The better we get at multitasking, the worse we are at thinking deeply."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hold On

she had a habit of killing herself,
i had a habit of dying.

i think she gave me something to live for,
i guess i helped to pass her time.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Remembering Sunday

i'll be blunt:
now the rain is just

washing you
out of my hair
(and out of my mind)

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Calling you to see

if you're   sleeping,
are  you dreaming;
if you're dreaming,
are  you dreaming of me?

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

I Have News For You

There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood

and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I'm Doing Everything For You

Bless your heart, you've made me happy again;
it's been so LONG and I'm  sick  of pretending.

Friday, May 21, 2010


am I made of glass?
you see right through me

Monday, May 17, 2010

Anybody Can Write a Poem

I am arguing with an idiot online.
He says anybody can write a poem.
I say some people are afraid to speak.
I say some people are 
ashamed to speak. 

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Let Us Go Then

through the trip
wired minefield

hand in hand
eyes for nothing

but ourselves

undaunted by
the traps & pits

of wasted land

you stoop
& pluck

a stem
of eyebright

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Hold On

The only thing I know for sure
is you are mine
and I am yours

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sing me to sleep;

I'll see you in my dreams.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Sing something new,

I have nothing left—
I can't face the dark without you.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

If you only knew

-I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

"Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide"

Fuck the silver, let's go straight for the gold.

Monday, May 03, 2010


Is it possible that spring could be
once more approaching? We forget each time
what a mindless business it is, porous like sleep,
adrift on the horizon, refusing to take sides, "mugwump
of the final hour," lest an agenda—horrors!—be imputed to it,
and the whole point of its being spring collapse
like a hole dug in sand. It's breathy, though,
you have to say that for it.
And should further seasons coagulate
into years, like spilled, dried paint, why,
who's to say we weren't provident? We indeed
looked out for others as though they mattered, and they,
catching the spirit, came home with us, spent the night
in an alcove from which their breathing could be heard clearly.
But it's not over yet. Terrible incidents happen
daily. That's how we get around obstacles.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

"There is no reciprocity.

Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. "

Thursday, April 29, 2010

You're so cold,

(keep your hand in mine)                                              (but you feel alive)

Lay your hand on me one last time...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

So Cold

Show me how it ends ( it's  a l l  r i g h t )
Show me how defenseless you really are

satisfied&empty inside
(well that's all right,
let's give this another try--)

Monday, April 26, 2010

"That's What You Get"

—because i burned every bridge i ever built while you were here.

(why do we like to hurt so much?)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

i can't hear you-- you sound like static

It sounds like a
radio with the speakers blown,
the kind of sound that you'll never know
(treble high and the bass down low)

Friday, April 23, 2010

& it's

all downhill from here

Thursday, April 22, 2010

It's still National Poetry Month...

Sooner or later that which is now life shall be poetry,
and every fair and manly trait shall add a richer strain to the song.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Final stanza

Our desires shall be from repressions free—
    As it's only right to treat them.
To your ego's whims I will sing sweet hymns,
    And ad libido repeat them.
With your hand in mine, idly we'll recline
    Amid bowers of neuroses,
While the sun seeks rest in the great red west
    We will sit and match psychoses.
So come dwell a while on that distant isle
    In the brilliant tropic weather;
Where a Freud in need is a Freud indeed,
    We'll always be Jung together.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

more of The Passionate Freudian

While the pale moon gleams, we will dream sweet dreams,
    And I'll win your admiration,
For it's only fair to admit I'm there
    With a mean interpretation.
In the sunrise glow we will whisper low
    Of the scenes our dreams have painted,
And when you're advised what they symbolized
    We'll begin to feel acquainted.
So we'll gaily float in a slumber boat
    Where subconscious waves dash wildly;
In the stars' soft light, we will say good-night—
    And "good-night!" will put it mildly. 

Monday, April 19, 2010

Excerpt from "The Passionate Freudian to His Love"

Only name the day, and we'll fly away
    In the face of old traditions,
To a sheltered spot, by the world forgot,
    Where we'll park our inhibitions.
Come and gaze in eyes where the lovelight lies
    As it psychoanalyzes,
And when once you glean what your fantasies mean
    Life will hold no more surprises.
When you've told your love what you're thinking of
    Things will be much more informal;
Through a sunlit land we'll go hand-in-hand,
    Drifting gently back to normal.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Love-Hat Relationship

I have been thinking about the love-hat relationship.
It is the relationship based on love of one another's hats.
The problem with the love-hat relationship is that it is superficial.
You don't necessarily even know the other person.
Also it is too dependent on whether the other person
is even wearing the favored hat. We all enjoy hats,
but they're not something to build an entire relationship on.
My advice to young people is to like hats but not love them.
Try having like-hat relationships with one another.
See if you can find something interesting about
the personality of the person whose hat you like.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

"Lighthead's Guide to the Galaxy"

...All species have a notion of emptiness, and yet
the flowers don't quit opening. I am carrying the whimper
you can hear when the mouth is collapsed, the wisdom
of monkeys. Ask a glass of water why it pities
the rain. Ask the lunatic yard dog why it tolerates the leash.
Brothers and sisters, when you spend your nights
out on a limb, there's a chance you'll fall in your sleep.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Excerpt from "To Celia"

Drink to me, only with thine eyes
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I'll not look for wine.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

From "Petit, the Poet"

Ballads by the score with the same old thought:
The snows and the roses of yesterday are vanished;
And what is love but a rose that fades?

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


You see through me, don't you?

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

who cares about grass?

And I   d o n 't    n e e d
another kind of green
to know
I'm on the right side
with you.                                       

(don't need to lose it to know that you had it good)

Monday, April 05, 2010

here i am,

with my heart on the floor
&  my love out the door
be         -   

Sunday, April 04, 2010

but there it goes,

i've got nothing to show for
except pictures i pose for—
but i keep them
        in  a  box
under  -
my bed.

Saturday, April 03, 2010


forgive me,my love;
i stand here all alone
(&i can SEE the bottom)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I    can't    r e m e m b e r
             what went   w r o n g   last December

..but I'm sure you'd remind me
  (if you had to)

Monday, March 29, 2010

you already--alreadyKNOW--

  I  can't live without,
  all  I  think  about,
all  I  want  is  you.

          You're all I dream about,
          I  can't  live  without ---
a l l     I     w a n t     i s     y o u.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Thrown it all away, but

I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to feel
or what I'm supposed to say, but

I'm not--not too sure how it feels
to handle everyday...

...& i MISS you,love.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


your lips are better than mine, so you can kiss this goodbye

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

"World Ain't Right"


a l l      m y     h o p e s     AND     d r e a m s

to fall apart at the seams.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"This Ain't Goodbye"

This is just where love goes when words aren't warm enough to keep away the cold.

Monday, March 22, 2010

"Give Me a Sign"

I can feel you falling away...

no longer  the  lost ;
no longer the same.

&I can see you starting to break.

forever -- and ever
thescarswill remain

Friday, March 19, 2010


Hold me, love?
I can't sleep again.

Will I have to kiss your nose?
I just want to lie next to you in love...


Wednesday, March 17, 2010


(what matters is what hasn't been)
we're wide awake and we're thinking
my darling--
believe your voice can mean something.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"Here Without You"

...I'm here without you, baby,
but you're still on my lonely mind.

I think about you, baby,
& I dream about you all the time...

Monday, March 15, 2010


This dirty—little—Heart
Is freely mine.
I won it with a Bun—
A Freckled shrine—

But eligibly fair
To him who sees
The Visage of the Soul
And not the knees.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Canadian boys sing it best

(i will carry you till you carry on)
anytime you need someone,
somebody strong to lean on,
    you can count on me to hold you till the healing is done-

                                             and every time you fall apart 
                                             you can hide here in my arms
&  you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone.

Friday, March 12, 2010

please dont give (in)(up)

  b e l i e v e   in   me (iknowyou'vewaitedforsolong)

             b e l i e v e   in   me

       b e l i e v e   in   me

                   b e l i e v e    in    me--
    'cause i was made for chasing dreams

Thursday, March 11, 2010

"if you don't, don't..."

If you don't-- don't know, why'd you say so?
(would you mean this, please, if it happens?)

If you don't know, why would you say so?
(won't you get your story straight?)

If you don't--
well, honey, would you just say so?
('cause I need this now more than I ever did)

If you don't,
well, honey,
then you
don't .

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"Carve Your Heart"

Man, it takes a silly girl
to lie about the dreams she has;

Lord, it takes a lonely one
to wish that she had never dreamt at all.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Inspiration for layout


Life is an old man carrying flowers on his head.

young death sits in a cafe
smiling, a piece of money held between
his thumb and first finger
(i say "will he buy flowers" to you
and "Death is young
life wears velour trousers
life totters, life has a beard" i

say to you who are silent.--"Do you see
Life? he is there and here,
or that, or this
or nothing or an old man 3 thirds
asleep, on his head
flowers, always crying
to nobody something about les
roses les bluets
will He buy?
Les belles bottes--oh hear
, pas cheres")

and my love slowly answered I think so. But
I think I see someone else
there is a lady, whose name is Afterwards
she is sitting beside young death, is slender;
likes flowers.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

More from E.E.

in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neatening each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds

--before leaving my room
i turn, and(stooping
through the morning)kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.

Friday, March 05, 2010

"Since feeling is first"

lady i swear by all flowers.  Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

Thursday, March 04, 2010

"No Sensitivity"

The world don't spin without you--
I'm amazed you're standing still.

Taking my kisses back;
I want my kisses back from you.

    ( isn't  it   obvious?   isn't  it  obvious? )
 --it's okay if you don't answer...
(thought itwasobvious,thoughtit was obvious)


Wednesday, March 03, 2010

"Dressed to Kill"

(you're not here;
and i can't stop pretending
that you're forever mine&--)

I can't dream anymore
  since       you           left;
Imissyou singing me to sleep

I can't  wake  anymore
  in           your        arms;
I miss you singingmetosleep

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

"It was a quiet way—

He asked if I was his—
I made no answer of the Tongue,
But answer of the Eyes—

Monday, March 01, 2010

Estlin again

what's beyond logic happens beneath will;
nor can these moments be translated:i say
that even after April
by God there is no excuse for May

Thursday, February 25, 2010

silly Juliet.

" In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be. "

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Are you having trouble keeping up?Seeing thisthingthrough?

I want to know who you're running from -- me or you?
You're too confused to open up  ( feel the way I do ) .
I want to know who you're thinking of,

'cause I really have no clue.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

when you

Another   game   of   charades. . .
don't you know everybody plays?I don't want to lose to you that way.
Maybe we'll be different this time around? Maybe we'll be different..

I don't know.

Don't want to strangle this,
so I'm holding back for now.


(calm down , don't take it too far--)
I know only time can heal scars, so
I'm ready whenyouare.(whenyouare)
(tied down, don't want any false starts--)
I can do without the time apart , soI'm
READY whenyouare. ( when   y o u   are )
...I'm ready when you are.

Monday, February 22, 2010

-- Trapt

Are you having trouble keeping up?

You know that I will wait.

(i wonder if it's good enough to make you stay?)

You're too confused to open up;
you don't know what to say.
Well, you can tell me if you think it's love.

I won't be far away.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Were mandkind murderous or jealous upon you, my brother, my sister?
I am sorry for you, they are not murderous or jealous upon me,
All have been gentle with me, I keep no account with lamentation,
(What have I to do with lamentation?)

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Myself" -

Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

- Whitman

Missing me one place search another,

I stop somewhere waiting for you.

Friday, February 12, 2010

"Lyrical Lies"

& you want to be dressed in poetry
but imagery doesn't fit.

so you want resizing--
but, darling dear,
get a grip.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Better Off Dead"

ash his  heart  onto theground
                  BURNhis guts out byfrustration;

be careful, you mightKILLhim--

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

lyrical lies

"& your (eye)lids are your best canvas--

icanonly   i m a g i n e
what you're painting..."

Saturday, February 06, 2010

(tasting bright sweat and dark pavement)

i collapse with air burning fiery holes into my lungs, street gravel pressing temporary tattoos of dots unto my palms. and you are already standing behind me. barely winded, and nothing but love and understanding on your kind, kind face.

i didn't ask you to run after me.             i whisper.

but i couldn't help it.             you answer.

(and you say exactly what i want you to say)


After all this time,
   I never thought we'd be here--
     never thought we'd be here,
(when my love for you was blind)
but i couldn't make you see it--
       i couldn't make you see

that i loved you more than you'll ever know

(a part of me died when i let you go)

Jimmy Eat World--

THIS is who i am.

( i'm sorry, but )
off how I feel

you KILL me;
you BUILD me up,but just towatchme break--

i know what i should do
but i just can't walk away.

Friday, February 05, 2010


tell me

i NEED answers
         for what all
the    w a i t i n g
i've  done  means

you KILL me;
you've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes

--i know what i should do,
(but iJUSTcan't turn away)

Thursday, February 04, 2010

voices to voices,lip to lip

i mean that the blond abscence of any program
except last and always and first to live
makes unimportant what i and you believe;
not for philosophy does this rose give a damn...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

E.E. Cummings

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Howard Zinn (RIP Jan 27, 2010)

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.

If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory."

Saturday, January 30, 2010

just 3 miles from the rest stop

w h i l e   you  were   s l e e p i n g
i was listening to the radio & wondering what you're dreaming when--

it came to mind that i didn't care.

&i thought: HELL, if it's over,
well, i had better end it quick or i could lose my nerve--
are you listening?
can you hear me?

(have you forgotten?)

"Either Way"

i will love you forever-- (but forever'sSOfaraway)
but i promised i would; through all the BADS and the goods; and, hell, the bads are still GOODS anyway.

& i will love you always.

(there's nothingleftforMEto say--
'tilthecowscomebackhome,ORjump over themoon;'tilthedishes&spoonsallRUNaway)

i willLOVEyoueitherway.

i will love you always;

i   will love you ,
e i t h e r  w a y.

Friday, January 29, 2010

"All Hell For A Basement"

i have LOST my way,
but   i   hear    t e l l
about a heaven in Alberta. . .

Monday, January 25, 2010

Jimmy Eat World -- Dizzy

i TOLD you as i hovered; i never felt this way.

YOU said,
"i  have the SHOT
thatstopsmy clock,
baby ,    it's okay."

youSAID you'd never have regrets;
Jesus, is there someone yet
who got their wish?

did you get yours, babe?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

3 Doors Down

The open wound she hides: she just
keeps it bundledup &neverlets itSHOW.
sheCAN'Ttake muchmoreof this -- but she can't let it go.
That's okay. She don't want the world.

All the things she says, while he's just
lying there withoutsomeoneto hear herCRY,
she slipsoff into a dream about a place
to hide... and that's ok. She don't want the world.

This  l o v e  she feels--
everything she's ever known,
   or ever thought was real--
seems like it's been thrown away.

Now how's she gonna live?
It's okay; she don't want the world.

haunt her life,thememoriesof all
the timesbefore: she tried to show
him love while he would only ask
for more. But it's ok, she don't want the world.

Softly in her sleep...
pictures of the life she's longing for slowly appear.
She's seen them all before, but somehow never quite this clear...

And she just smiles;

she don't want the world.

Friday, January 22, 2010

and in between dreams..

If I knew all of the answers, I would not hold them from you;
You'd know all of the things that I know.

'cause we told each other
there  is  no other way...

Thursday, January 21, 2010


[3 Doors Down]

" i don't know why i gave you my heart
 because sometimes it feels so wrong.

(but inSPITEofallthisweatherI
&i swear right now i'm- "

.where i

"...there's too many questions and too many strings
and they won't keep themselves tied.
On arollercoasterride;


" There's a difference in spending time with me
  and killing time while I'm there.

On too many people & too many things,
and it makes me feel like HELL..."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

(what are you hoping for?)

" No one else will have me like you do;
       no one else will have me, only you. "

                                             -- 23

Matchbox 20

the cars are moving like a half an mile an hour &i
staring at the passengers who're wavin' goodbye--

can you tell me what was every really special about me all this time?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I was no longer brave;

My avarice cooled,
like lust in the chill of the grave.

-- Hamatreya

Sunday, January 17, 2010

well, you know what?

" A goal without a plan is just a wish. "

Saturday, January 16, 2010


"3AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake:
'Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him; winter just wasn't my season.'"

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

If You Only Knew

"it's 4:03
and I can't sleep
without you next to me;
I toss and turn like the sea."

Sunday, January 10, 2010

"There For You"

You speak the unspeakable through
" i love you, too. "

"Change The World"

"Can't say for sure just where I'll end up;

I just want to end up there with you."