Coda

She said " i think i'm going to Boston,
                i think i'll start a new life
                i think i'll start it over where no one knows my name---

                i'll get out of California; i'm tired of the weather
                i think i'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.

i think i'm going to Boston

i think that I'm just tired--

I think I need a new town to leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise;

I'm tired of the sunset

I hear it's nice in the summer...

some snow would be nice. "

Devil

She sits alone again
& tries her best not to pretend that all she used to live for was the love that wasn't there
& every time she needs to do things that she believes will fill the void inside of her (causehewasneverthere)

she says, "I swear I'm not the devil, though you think I am.
I swear I'm not the devil--"

He tries to sleep again 

He wonders when the pain will end the cuts (theymayrundeeperthanhiscrackingoutershell)

He looks with tired eyes

at all the people hypnotized

& wonders what can save him from his self-created hell

And he says, "I swear I'm not the devil.

Though you think I am, I swear I'm not the devil--"

I always fail to see the little things in front of me 
The things that mean so much to you; a way to let you know that I appreciate the way you always tolerate 
(but sometimes when I medicate frustration in you showsmehowyoufeel)

But I swear I'm not the devil,
though you think I am.


I swear I'm not the devil.

Torn

(nothing's right i'm--)

i'm all out of faith;
this is how i feel

(cold&iAMshamed)

lying naked in the floor

and still

i can't seem to find
the q u i e t
inside
my mind

I Am Not Yours

I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.

You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.

Oh plunge me deep in love—put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

if I say

"my heart is sore,"
it sounds like a cheap metaphor
(so I won't repeat it—)

Trade Yourself In

I don't think they know
that's my heart exposed. . .

the shallows

"The better we get at multitasking, the worse we are at thinking deeply."